Relationship Counseling
Is A Relationship In Your Life Causing You Significant Distress?
Has a relationship with someone you consider important—such as a family member, friend, or co-worker—become complicated? Or does the difficulty lie with your relationship with yourself and how you treat yourself?
Whether the issue has to do with you or someone else, problems may have become worse over time, and now you are at a breaking point, not knowing how to resolve your issues on your own. You might find yourself dwelling on these problems or the people involved, which may lead to other issues like feeling sad or angry.
Relationship Struggles Can Have A Huge Impact On Your Physical, Emotional, and Mental Health
Whether the problematic relationship is with a member of your family, a friend, or a colleague, the situation has likely made certain environments or situations challenging, maybe even downright uncomfortable. If you are actively fighting with this person, the relationship may have become hostile, and in some cases, you may have cut off contact altogether.
Common signs of relational distress include feelings of anxiousness, unease, loneliness, despair, hopelessness, frustration, anger, confusion, and even fear. Maybe you feel shame or embarrassment over how a relationship is affecting you. Maybe you have tried to ignore your feelings, waiting and hoping that things will get better on their own, yet things have yet to improve.
Unfortunately, many people don't seek help with their relationships until their troubles have become unmanageable. But whatever issues you’re having with others or yourself, relationship counseling can help you identify what you would like to change, determine what you do and do not have control over, and help you develop a plan to move forward towards your goals.
Everyone Is Affected By Their Relationships
“To be human is to be in relationship with others" (Erskine, Moursund, & Trautmann)*
Relationships influence our thoughts and feelings. Sometimes relationships experience brief periods of struggle, and often those issues resolve themselves. Other times, people in strained relationships, especially within family units or long-term friendships, can develop unhealthy communication patterns over time.
Perhaps you want a different relationship with your parents or siblings. Maybe you need to define and enforce new boundaries with your in-laws, co-workers, or boss, but you're not sure how. Maybe you're struggling with processing and accepting the loss of a significant friendship.
Probably the most significant relationship you will have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. You may come to realize that your relationship with yourself could use some attention. It is often challenging to accurately identify and adjust our own thoughts and behavioral patterns, such as how we speak to and treat ourselves. You may find that through improving your relationship with yourself, you could profoundly impact your day to day experience.
It’s Important To Identify When A Relationship Needs Outside Help
Some people might not think their problems are significant enough for counseling, or maybe they are ashamed that a relationship is causing them distress. They might feel like they should just be able to figure this out on their own.
Society has started to respect and value "couples therapy" more in recent years, but what about our relationships with people that are not our significant partners? Are these relationships any less important or have any less impact on our lives? No. So why shouldn't you be able to address those relationships therapeutically? You absolutely can!
Therapy Can Help You Proactively Improve Your Relationship With Yourself And Others
Devoting attention to your relationship with the help of a counselor at Attuned Minds Therapy can positively affect your life in many ways:
Increasing opportunities to cultivate the types of relationships you desire
Teaching you how to break the cycle of negative thought patterns and/or poor communication
Developing interpersonal skills that can be applied throughout your life
Building the confidence to speak up to effectively have your voice be heard
Creating boundaries consistent with your personal values and prioritizing meaningful relationships and pursuits
Therapy can also help you identify which relationships are causing you distress if it is not overtly clear when you start your therapeutic journey. Your counselor will work with you to develop goals for what to modify in your relationship to help resolve challenges.
What To Expect In Relationship Counseling Sessions
The focus of sessions at Attuned Minds Therapy will look different for everyone. Our sessions will likely focus on what you can start doing differently that will positively impact your relationships. Therapy will provide you with a safe space to practice alternative communication patterns and hone your new skills. Effective relationship skills may include active listening, validating the feelings of others, respecting and honoring your own emotions, prioritizing connection over winning or being right, and communicating clearly.
Skills You Can Expect To Explore and Practice
Your therapist will help you develop patterns of behavior that are in line with your values and relationship goals. This includes:
Effective communication strategies like boundary setting and how to express your wants and needs. Therapy will help you identify and decrease behaviors that take away from the relationship you want or desire and teach you how to increase behaviors that will move you towards meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
Relational therapy helps you make changes in your relationships, including the relationship with yourself. It provides an environment that encourages you not to run away from your problems but to turn toward them—provides a place for you to connect with yourself and others and move towards health and wholeness.
You don’t need to wait until a relationship is in real trouble to seek therapy. The smaller the problem the easier it can be to fix. Therapy can help you figure out what isn't working anymore and turn the tides.
No one but you has more power to create the life you want to live!
You Might Still Have Questions About Relationship Counseling…
Who can attend therapy sessions with me?
We welcome you to invite anyone to your sessions who you think should be there and is willing to attend. This could include friends or family members. The only condition is that they agree to the confidentiality of the therapy process.
The person I am struggling with won't come to therapy with me, is it still beneficial to go by myself?
Absolutely. Many people initially come to therapy because they want someone else’s behavior to change. However, people won't change unless they want to change.
Individual therapy can still be helpful for you to learn how to start doing things differently in your relationship and figure out what issues you have control over. Perhaps what you will ultimately learn is how to respond to others with better consideration for your health and well-being. Keep in mind that oftentimes, a change in your behavior will affect the whole relationship system.
Is my relationship worth the effort of holding onto it?
This is a question that counseling sessions can address. All relationships require work, and this is not a bad thing. Your therapist does not have an opinion one way or the other on whether you should end your relationship or try to resolve your differences. We will help you determine what is right for you.
It is worth mentioning though, that some relationships are lifelong and some are short-term. You get to decide which relationships you want in your life and which ones are no longer serving you.
Healthier And Fulfilling Relationships Are Within Your Reach
Relationships are a part of life, and the ones that matter most to us can sometimes become troubled. If you’re ready to make a change, reach out to Attuned Minds Therapy® at 407-502-2635 for a free, 15-minute consultation, to learn how counseling can help your relationship get through difficult times.
* Erskine, R. G., Moursund, J. P., & Trautmann, R. L. (1999). Beyond empathy: A therapy of contact-in-relationship. Brunner/Mazel.
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